What is self care? Does it mean I feel safe and loveable enough to take care of myself? I think the idea of giving myself what I want and need confuses me because I've spent so many years focusing on others and their responsibilities. I have lost the knowledge (belief) that its okay to take care of myself. God forbid I might be selfish!!
I struggle with the belief that others are responsible for making me happy, that others somehow know how to do that and I don't. This belief keeps me from the serenity I seek. I heard someone say once, "I learn what I believe by speaking." This is why I find tremendous comfort and relief in sharing at meetings. It doesn't matter if anyone understands or agrees. What matters is that I say these things out loud so I know what I believe. I can change anything that I acknowledge. I'll never know what it is unless I say it.
There is no recipe or formula for working these things out. There is no guidebook for learning self care. I have a guide in me, the intuition I regularly ignore knows what to do. I practice the new behaviors even though they make me uncomfortable. I can listen to the quiet voice that tells me when I'm off track, when I'm out of my mind and into yours. I can trust that I am being led. I except I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
What can I do right now to take care of myself?
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