I work in recovery and sadly relapse is a normal and quite common occurrence in the population we treat. However, on Saturday,a co-worker of mine thought it was a good idea to drink herself into oblivion and return to the sober living home she manages. The residents became aware of her inebriation and became quite upset. Needless to say that when an employee does this they must be let go. Not only does this women lose her job but she also loses her place to live. The disease of addiction can sneak up on anyone. It pays to remain diligent, even if one has years and years of recovery, like me.
The relapse of my colleague brings up a dearth of emotion for me. First, I feel anger. I'm mad at the disease and I'm mad at my friend. Second, I am afraid. This woman seemed very solid and focused in her recovery. I had (still do as a matter of fact) a lot of respect for her and frequently went to her for advice and counsel. I look at this decision she made and am flummoxed by it. How does this happen? Is it as simple as choosing the drink over recovery in a moment of weakness? Or is it more complicated than that? I teach relapse prevention, and it's a process more than an event. There are certain, identifiable behaviors that if caught early on, can be corrected. Picking up a drink is the last thing that happens in the process. Was this preventable? Probably not, ultimately my recovery is up to me.
In AA there is a saying: There but for the grace of god go I.
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